the week in retrospect...

The last two weeks have been extremely crazy in the office - we got our first contract to fulfill and our entire team scrambled to get it completed by the 20th of the month. *phew* Then it was back to taking care of everything that got put on hold while we were working on the contract...so LOTS of things to keep us all busy and then some.

E has been working from the US since the beginning of March - and it's been tough for me to be in charge of the office in addition to my regular job duties. I have to admit that working at a "start up" may seem glamorous...but it's a helluva lot of WORK! I don't think that I've worked this hard in a LONG time. Much of the work are activities that should be delegated, but can't be due to the lack of experience on our team and attention to detail. Seriously, the amount of oversight that has to be done on a daily basis is the most exhausting part of my week.

On the other hand - I'm learning a lot about running a company...how to build and evolve a corporate culture, business development (in the most rudimentary sense of the word - as in SALES and building a corporate reputation), creating and implementing business strategy...oh and of course - doing business in Bangladesh! So - it's all good experience. It's the most painful experiences that you learn the most about yourself.

Enough about business - here are some insights of the week:

"Hired Help" - having a housekeeper and a driver + doorman and front desk manager are all part of living in this country and maintaining proper status...but they can "cramp" your style.

I was chatting with a good friend, C, and I was explaining to her how strange it is having "servants". The people that "serve" you can also indirectly influence your life. Examples:

1. I can't go on a drinking binge and come home with some random stranger (or WORSE someone that I know) because my driver would SERIOUSLY disapprove. (He's a good Muslim and doesn't approve of drinking...and free love would probably make him freak out.) I'd either get "preached" at the next morning...or the rest of the staff would talk about it and my "reputation" and respect would be ruined. (It's not likely that this situation would actually occur, given my own personal penchant for staying sober and in "control" - but it's still a deterrent if I was ever thinking of letting loose.)
2. IF I had a strong minded housekeeper, I'd also be affected at home...can you imagine if I had a housekeeper that had strong opinions about how I should dress and eat? Disapproved items of clothing would get "lost" in the wash, or get mistakenly washed with red articles of clothing and ruined. Breakfast and packed lunches would be determined by the "Food" Nazi - it could be pretty good or bad...depending on how you looked at it. =) I mean, this doesn't really apply in my situation...but I can easily imagine how it could indirectly impact my life.

I've read about these situations in various books - but never put any thought into it because it wasn't something that I was familiar with. Now that I am being exposed to having to present myself properly in this society - it's just an interesting realization.

I have always been one to open my own doors and carry my own bags - but having lived in Bangladesh for close to 6 months now, I'm realizing that I'm actually taking status from my service staff by insisting on carrying my own bags. It's my driver's job in the mornings to take my laptop bag up to the office after he's parked the car. There's a certain prestige that is cast upon the driver depending on who he is driving. For instance - they rotate who drives the Director of the company because there's a certain amount of pride and prestige in being able to say that you are the "driver" of the boss. (His housekeeper is always asking for a raise because he says that he gets made fun of by the other staff. He used to be the cook for the entire household when the boss lived in a house - but now that he's moved into a smaller apartment...the other staff says that the dog is his boss. Before, all he would do is cook (which is a higher "class" position than the house cleaner) - but now that he cooks, cleans AND walks the dog, he has lost some social position.) It's a very different and complex part of living here in Bangladesh that I would never have expected.

So - back to the driver...since I'm the second in command for the private limited group - I guess that the driver has a certain amount of social standing...and if I don't allow him to do his job, it somehow emasculates him. Strange huh? So - I've learned to live with a little more grace and allow people to do things for me like open my car door and carry my bags. It would be really "American" of me to insist on doing it myself...and I'm trying to assimilate in small ways. Skeptic friends might say - LAZY!! Which is true as well...but really there's an underlying reason to it! =)

Sorry for the long post - but the last thing that I wanted to recap is a situation that also came up this week. Our landlord is psychologically unstable - my flatmate and I think that he's either a drunkard or bi-polar. His behavior is erratic and he responds to situations like a petulant child.

This week - there was some altercation between him and our driver. Maybe our driver looked at him strangely or said something about his drinking one morning...or he was still drunk from celebrating the Bangladesh Tigers upset over the Indian team in the Cricket World Cup last week (the game ran until 4am in the morning). Regardless of how it happened - we were told via our driver that we couldn't park our car in the two spots that are included in the lease.

Long story short - after no response, we decided to continue to park the car in our usual spot. On the first evening of returning to business as usual - I mentally prepared myself for a confrontation should something occur. I figured if something happened, I would step in between our driver and the landlord. Then it occurred to me - "what would you do if he hit you?" Okay - maybe I'm strange, but you have to mentally be prepared to be hit physically or it will completely throw you off balance and you may not be able to respond. So I mentally played out the scenario of what I would do if I got hit - recover and hit him in the 'nards as hard as I could and get out of there. Then - I thought, well, would the staff help me or take his side? I'm in a foreign country - what would happen?

Strange as that mental conversation was - when I came upstairs (without incident) I had a similar conversation with my flatmate. AND the strangest thing is that SHE had the same conversation with herself as well! (See I'm NOT crazy!) So - we don't think the staff would side with him because they've seen him go off the deep end before...but we don't think that they would help. Our driver would help - but the rest of the staff would probably just stand and watch. (That's common here in any given incident. Everyone will gather around to watch you try to fix a problem, not to be helpful...just to watch silently...in a crowd.)

Anyways - if anything had happened...we would come upstairs, lock the doors and call personal contacts with the police and report the incident...and/or call the embassy to report an incident.

After several attempts to call and email the landlord to understand the situation - we got a strange email (typed in IM conversation style) where he stated that he was the "sheriff" downstairs and had to keep order...and that our driver may be very nice to us to our faces...but can become haughty with the other apartment staff because he worked for foreigners. Now - Monu has worked for the company for 6 years and we've never had complaints like this - and the majority of our company is comprised of local staff...and no one has said anything like this. AND - the landlord gives me the heebie jeebies - he drinks, openly hires "ladies of the night" and has a staff of several young girls working for him (I'm talking 10-14 years old here). Needless to say, I'm taking our driver's side in this situation.

I've never had to think about preparing for violence before in my life - I just thought it strange that HAD to ask "what would happen" and then mentally prepare for the worse. Something else I would never have expected to think about while living in a different country. Just thought that I'd share. =) Luckily nothing happened - but it's good to be prepared.